I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
