I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
