yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
