if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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