dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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