THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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