So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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