I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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