i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
