my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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