Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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