Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
