I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
