i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
