Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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