Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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