Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
