you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
