That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
