I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
