Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize