its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
