Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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