Grow some girl-balls and come out already
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
