OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There's always time for handjobs
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
