i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
