So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
