pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
