So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
