so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
