I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
