I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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