My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
