i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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