ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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