Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
