So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
