That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize