There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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