I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize