tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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