please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
