thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
