i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
