I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
