I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
