We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
