his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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