what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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