Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
