you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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