Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
