I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
