was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
