i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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