; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
