I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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