i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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