she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
