I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I will pee on everything he values.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
