Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
