all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
