Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
