Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
