i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
